Oh please help validate my life

I should apologise for the fact that it’s been quite a bit more than a month since I last sent a newsletter. But instead I’m going to distract you with this picture of a cute puppy:
That’s Sirius and he’s been tearing things up for the last few weeks in Galley Beggar towers. Literally:
Which is just part of the reason things are all slightly delayed around here. Another reason is that we’ve been busy. First of all, oh my god, we went to Paris to help launch Adam Biles’ amazing novel Feeding Time. 
That’s right. We actually went to actual Paris. To actual Shakespeare & Company. Which just felt like the centre of our world of books. The omphalos of literary culture. Our Delphi. A place crackling with mystic and intellectual energy and, best of all, brimming with fun. We’ve loved it for years anyway, but to go there and see behind the scenes... Not to mention how how well run it is, how generous the owners Sylvia and David are and how well they’re carrying on George Whitman and Sylvia Beach’s legacy and how great all the people who work there are…  Forgive a moment of complete self-indulgence, but that was a dream. Publishing isn’t always easy. But the rewards make it all worth it. Seeing our author doing so well, in that place, surrounded by incredible people who had all read and loved his book. It doesn’t get much better. (You can watch Adam being interviewed by the excellent Steven Gale here. When I look at it, I find it hard to believe I’m actually there. What joy.)
While I’m gushing. I know I just called Feeding Time “amazing” and I know I’ve been praising it to the skies for a long time now. But you don’t have to just take it from me any more. Look at this review in The Guardian. “Dazzling and darkly funny… bold… megawatt talent… big hearted… dedicated to readerly pleasure without short-changing the sadness at its core.” I want to stand on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square shouting those words to passers-by. What a book! 
If by some chance you’ve avoided my previous attempts to persuade you to BUY IT, READ IT AND LOVE IT we still have a limited number of limited editions in our store. As well as lots of lovely paperbacks. (And ebooks too!)
Okay. While I’m selling: LOOK OUT!
Paul Stanbridge’s mighty book is coming at the end of the month. And Alex Pheby - who is, as regular Galley Beggar readers must know, a goddam genius - says: “Forbidden Line is a work of enormous scope and ambition from a writer who combines style, wit… and a rare sense of the ridiculousness of the human condition. Incomparable.” 
We’ve started to gather other glowing first responses as people read the proofs, too. But I’ll keep my powder dry for all that until next month. Suffice to say that, as usual, we’re as excited as our new puppy dog gets at supper time. If I had a tail, it would be thumping the floor in delight. We love our authors. 
Limited editions are available here. I’ll put the paperbacks online towards the end of the month.
Okay. Time for some self-promotion. It’s been very touching and gratifying that so many people have bought Literary London from our shop. It’s a great boost to us morally and financially. And it helps us keep things running here and continue putting out the hardcore, uncompromising art of our wonderful authors. If you’re looking for a Christmas present, please do think of it.
Also, if you want something a little sillier, please consider these books that I also wrote. They're published today. Oh my children? What have I done to send you into this huge dark universe? Will anyone notice them. 
If you buy one, you'll help validate my life. And hopefully they’ll make you laugh. They were quite an unexpected commission - but a blast to write. I spent a lot of time cackling and snorting. Better still, the publisher (Harper Collins) have done a fine job of making them look beautiful…  They’re £5, they're in our store and each and every time you buy one, a Brexiteer cries and Dumbkirk gets that little bit further away. 
Here’s the spread that was inspired by Elly, who always goes and swears in the playground at our daughter’s school:
She says she is proud to be my muse. If only I could write poetry, eh?
Meanwhile, speaking of Elly, last week she was lucky enough to get invited as a fellow to the Toronto International Festival Of Authors this year (thank you, Dan Wells, mastermind of of the superb indy Biblioasis, for the nomination!). There, she was treated to a six-day tour of the liberal utopia of Canada. She wept with joy at how well the state treats its arts. She got to meet some fantastic presses and authors: from Book Thug  - our new friends and doppelgängers across the waves (buy their books, they're powerful good) to Louise Dannys fighting the good fight at Penguin, to writers like Ann Michaels and Tim O’Brien. That’s right. Author of Fugitive Pieces. Author of The Things They Carried. Writing doesn’t come much better. …. Nor do countries, judging by the way Elly’s been gushing about it. Oh Canada! 
Okay. Back to other projects. We’ve just soft-launched a new scheme designed to help our readers really get in touch with our novels and our readers. It’s called The Adventurer’s Book Club. You can find out about it here. It’s going to be a great way of getting close to our wonderful writers. It won’t cost you a thing. And in a few weeks it’s going to showcase a brilliant new bit of writing from Paul Ewen. Hit this link for more details!  
Here’s the puppy again. We love him even though he has done poo in the house more than once.
A few more bits of business. If you’re thinking of writing a non-fiction book, or struggling with one, you might find this course helpful. It features guest appearance from Eloise Millar.
On 4 November, round about 8pm I’ll be speaking my brane at the Betsey Trotwood along with a few friends. Here’s the advert. 
Please do come and have a beer with me and the wonderful organiser Alastair Harper. 
Finally: Remember I said Alex Pheby is a genius? Did you doubt me? Well let’s put it to the test. I’ve reduced the price on his novels in our store, and I also pledge to give you your money back if it doesn’t  - I don’t know - blow the top of your head off and get you so hot and excited all the wee in your bladder actually starts boiling and hissing. Okay, maybe not that. But seriously. I dare you not to find this book impressive. It’s one year old this month. We're selling it for a special genius price of £7 for the next few weeks
To me it already feels like a classic. And heck, while I’m reducing prices, and promoting authorial geniuses, why don’t you also get hold off Anthony Trevelyan’s beautiful, poignant, inventive, hilarious and just delightful Weightless World for £7. I love that book too. It’s bursting with promise and talent and laughs and … go on! Get one!
Okay. That’s all. Except for the disturbing news that in spite of the mighty hexes I have been casting on him ever since sending our last newsletter, Nigel Farage remains the leader of UKIP and still appears to be doing his best to destroy my country and the rest of the world. This news is all the more disturbing given the fact that Nigel isn’t actually made of flesh and blood like you and me. Inside his blotched and rubbery skin suit, he’s actually filled with pint-dregs, cigar ash and vomit. When he cries (which is not often enough) old brown vinegar comes out of his eyes. When he farts, small children die. His actual excrement can be used to clean barnacles off ships' hulls. But that alas, is all he is good for. Unless you’re a racist thug. But then, if you were that small and mean, you wouldn’t be reading this newsletter about internationalist literary fiction written by proud citizens of the world. And that’s just one of the reasons I love you all, dear readers. 

 As usual, I'm also going to use the end of the newsletter for a few more adverts, where you can safely ignore them, or kindly indulge me, depending on your fancy:

Firstly, please be our friend! Become a Galley Buddy. It's a good deal for us, and a great deal for you. Our subscription service helps us ensure that we can support our writers and takes away some of the fear of pushing against literary boundaries. It also helps you ensure you get beautiful limited edition, collectible books by fine writers on tap.


Secondly, please join The Singles Club so we can pay writers to write. Here's the blurb:

We have a fantastic subscription system set up for our Singles Club so that you now only have to make one payment to get hold of 12 stories. But how to go through the ins and outs of paypal payment systems without boring the dirtbox off you, I don't know. Probably the best thing to do is to head over to the relevant page on our site, where I've tried to give a brief, but to the point explanation, and to take it from there. The important things to know are that:

(1) Subscribing saves you the trouble of going to the site every month to get your fix of superb ebook literature – we'll just email you the files every month.
(2) Subscribing (so long as enough people do it) will enable us to start giving our authors money up front on for each story. Yes! We are going to pay people to write short stories. It's like the golden days of the 1920s. Only they'll be in electronic book format instead of Strand magazine… Anyway! You get the idea. This is a mighty fine way to keep authors doing what they do best – entertaining you.
(3) It costs £12 a year, or £1 a month, or less than a meal in Pizza Express. (Unless you have a voucher.)

Thirdly, donate to Galley Beggar Press and earn yet more of our gratitude, click here.

Fourthly, Elly and me wrote a book called Literary London. A lot of people have said very nice things about it, and it's available in our store.

Fifthly: Obviously,I've been listening to and loving greatly the new Leonard Cohen album. There are terrible things in this world. But there are also fine and beautiful things. He's one of them. Thank you, Mr Cohen. 

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