Feeding Time

August already? A-level results day, in fact. Do you still have exam dreams? I do. I have a dream in which my pen keeps running out and I try to keep writing anyway and I can’t even read what I’m writing, and the hands on the clock are spinning round and I need the toilet and I’m going to fail… And then I wake up and it feels GREAT. Every time I remember I never have to do an exam again, I want to whoop. I send hearty congratulations to everyone reading this letter who also never has to to another exam. And commiserations to all those who are still at it. Hopefully there’s some compensation in knowing that one day, you too will be on the other side.
But hey! That’s not what I’m writing about. This is what I’m writing about:
It’s publication day for our beloved new author Adam Biles. He’s written an extraordinary debut novel. It’s another proud moment for us. This is a special and strange and subversive book and it’s already getting some mighty good notices. But I’ll start feeding* those to you over the next couple of weeks. For now, I just want to bask in its inner beauty:
This book marks something of a change for us because we’ve gone limited edition on our beautiful black flaps. Meaning that this pile here is the sum total of all of them in the world:
Once Adam has signed these flapalicious beauties, we’ll be shipping a good quantity out to our Galley Buddies and people who have pre-ordered. But there are still some left in our store and  - well, I’m sure you already know I’d be very pleased if you wanted to buy one.
If you arrive too late, don’t despair, because our bookshop edition is also a thing of beauty:
While you’re looking, you may also enjoy listening to this recording of Adam reading the first chapter of the book.
And if you enjoyed that, Adam is over from France next week. Yes, every word in his cover biography is true.
Adam's speaking at the Edinburgh Festival on 23 August if you fancy joining him there.
He will also be giving a talk at our launch party and summer drinks in London on 25 August. In fact, consider this an invitation. We’d love it if you could join us on Tamesis Dock at 7pm. It’s a very pretty boat overlooking Parliament and we’re told that Francis Plug is expecting to be there and has plans for it. But don’t let that worry you. Embrace the chaos! If you want to come along, just drop an RSVP to info@galleybeggar.co.uk and we’ll add you to the list.
The important thing about that party, as well as enjoying some free wine and hurling insults at the House Of Lies across the river, is celebrating the arrival of a mighty new voice and an extraordinary new talent. Celebrating Adam Biles. But it’s also something of an event for Elly and me personally, because we’ve also written a book which we’ll be launching there.
We’re also selling it in our store and every copy we sell will both help boost our egos and fund future Galley Beggar releases, so we’d be very happy if you considered getting a copy. We hope you’ll enjoy it too. There are some good stories about Ford Madox Ford playing tennis in there. And Noel Coward doing a spot of shoplifting. Not to mention the many heroines and heroes from all over the world who have contributed so much to our culture over the years. 
Okay! More news! This is one you'll have to move fast on. Alex Pheby will be discussing Playthings at the Edinburgh Festival with Mike McCormack on the 19th August. If you’re up there please do go. It's important to witness this mighty book. 
Meanwhile, if you’re stuck in the South, don’t despair. Because Alex will also be talking at a night called We’re Not Kids Anymore at the Betsey Trotwood on 23 September. Paul Ewen appeared last month and it was good indeed. As is Alex. I think you can just turn up at the Betsey on the night in question and head down to their dank bohemian cellar… But I’ll post updates on that soon. 
Talking of updates. We’ve got some news about our short story competition.
We've made a slight change to the dates, and the winning story will now be announced on the 17th February. We’re doing this because the Bookseller want to run a profile/interview with the winning author, to run on the same day as the announcement.  This is quite a coup, and we're delighted. It's a terrific opportunity for both the Prize and, most importantly, the writer involved. The Bookseller is read by over 80,000 publishing professionals around the world - it's the first port of call for agents and publishers and just the kind of exposure we’ve been hoping our prize will bring to the talented individuals who enter it. 
We've already received some terrific entries this year but please keep them coming. The calibre of the prize depends of the calibre of the writers who enter - and if it’s anything like last year, it’s going to be very special indeed. (Any money left over from administration costs also goes directly to the publication of new writing - so it's a prize for literature, on every count.) 
And talking of new writing, we’ve got a Singles Club double-bill this month, since somewhere amongst the summer and my referendum horror, I didn’t manage to put one out in July. We’ve got this one from Will Ashon:
And this from Simon Crump:
You couldn’t hope for two more different - or more brilliant stories. I just hope that Simon’s swearing doesn’t break your spam filter. And don't be scared of him! He’s a lovely man when you meet him, as well as a terrifying dark genius. It’s a joy to be able to work with him. Will too - look out for his new book Strange Labyrinth, which Granta are publishing in the spring. 
Okay. I’m sure we’ve got more news, but I’m hoping to push this letter out while it’s still the morning of Adam Biles’ publication day. The final bulletin I have to give you for now is that Jeff Bezos is now the world’s third richest man. And to think that JK Rowling tried to claim that drinking the blood of innocent unicorns is bad for you! The other thing that JK Rowling hasn’t come entirely clean about is (as I’m sure you’ve worked out by now) the terrifying fact that Bezos is also the ninth horcrux. The fact that Harry failed to destory him can be directly linked to Brexit and continuing existence of cancer. He's a manifestation of magic so dark that even Lord Voldemort was unaware of its creation. A being of shadows and horror created late in the last century when the Net Book Agreement was killed and leading a haunted, dirty, dripping half-life ever since.
The tenth horcrux is Nigel Farage’s moustache.  I really wish Harry would come out of retirement: 

 As usual, I'm also going to use the end of the newsletter for a few more adverts, where you can safely ignore them, or kindly indulge me, depending on your fancy:

Firstly, please join The Singles Club so we can pay writers to write. Here's the blurb:

We have a fantastic subscription system set up for our Singles Club so that you now only have to make one payment to get hold of 12 stories. But how to go through the ins and outs of paypal payment systems without boring the dirtbox off you, I don't know. Probably the best thing to do is to head over to the relevant page on our site, where I've tried to give a brief, but to the point explanation, and to take it from there. The important things to know are that:

(1) Subscribing saves you the trouble of going to the site every month to get your fix of superb ebook literature – we'll just email you the files every month.
(2) Subscribing (so long as enough people do it) will enable us to start giving our authors money up front on for each story. Yes! We are going to pay people to write short stories. It's like the golden days of the 1920s. Only they'll be in electronic book format instead of Strand magazine… Anyway! You get the idea. This is a mighty fine way to keep authors doing what they do best – entertaining you.
(3) It costs £12 a year, or £1 a month, or less than a meal in Pizza Express. (Unless you have a voucher.)

Secondly, please be our friend! Become a Galley Buddy. It's a good deal for us, and a great deal for you.


Thirdly, to donate to Galley Beggar Press and earn yet more of our gratitude, click here.

Fourthly, go on, buy a postcard set. They're lovely:

Fifthly: There's a new Leonard Cohen album on the way. There are still some good things in the world. 

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