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1. It's got Elvis in it.
2. Dan Rhodes says: "This is one of the most abnormal books of all time, and also one of the best. Eagle-eyed readers will spot that Rhodes has blurbed the paperback edition. However, as he is one of Britain's least popular writers his endorsement has failed to send My Elvis Blackout into the bestseller lists. No home is complete without this magnificent book."
3. John Self says it's the "oddest" book he's read all year. And that it: "ends up seeming like the most eloquent (and violent) expression of the psychopathology of fame since the best of Gordon Burn."
4. It isn't free, unlike most of the other books you're going to be uploading onto your ereader today. By spending money on it, you're going to help a real living writer continue his work.
5. £4 is still a lot cheaper than most of the other stuff you're going to buy in the sales today.
6. £4 is cheaper than your lunch too. Which isn't bad for a book you will NEVER FORGET.
7. Simon Crump is a nice man. Obviously, as a filthy capitalist publisher, I'd like to tell you that he's going to DIE soon and BUYING THIS BOOK is the only way you'll save him. But luckily, that isn't true. Even so, having a bestseller would still be good for him. He currently drinks really cheap beer from horrible orange cans when he's editing his novels. Is that what you want on your conscience?
8. Here's a review of My Elvis Blackout from a German Elvis fansite: "We do not know who is this Simon Crump, but he is not welcome in our town."
9. Meanwhile, The Guardian says: "Like an episode of South Park, where just as you get into the story something goes splat, Crump's contorted imagination is alarmingly enjoyable."
10. And Chris De Burgh says: "If I was born with a name like Simon Crump, I would spend the rest of my life trying to get all that anger and resentment out of me by being very rude about other people. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Or something like that. No, I wouldn't even give this a passing thought. When you are a famous person, you are there; you are up for grabs for people to have a go at. I know there are comedians who make fun of me. But, you know, I look at my beautiful family, I look at the house I live in and I look at my fans all over the world, and I look at my career and I think, well it's all based on jealousy and envy and really I don't give a toss."
11. In the book, Chris De Burgh is humiliated, killed, and then killed again.
12. In the book, Elvis drops frozen blood onto a Led Zeppelin concert.
13. In the book, Simon Crump weaves strange magic that will make you laugh, cry and feel empty and joyous inside all at the same time.
14. It's got a great cover.
15. It's short. You'll finish it by the end of the day. Far better than watching all that rubbish TV. And even though it's short, as I've already said, it will stay with you forever.
16. It's brimming over with the rebellious spirit of rock and roll. And when you read it, surrounded by relatives, and they don't know what the hell you're cackling about, you'll feel well cool.
17. TNT magazine described it as: "Primary school prose and a plot out of a cokehead's arse, this book is a waste of paper."
18. TNT magazine is shit.
19. The Yorkshire Post says: "In this macabre fantasy based on the life and troubled times of Elvis Presley, Crump takes the reader on a disturbingly funny journey inside the mind of his central character. Frequently inspired, often darkly witty, Crump is a writer with an imagination the size of a house. There are elements here of Irvine Welsh, but the cinematic style of writing also suggests a bizarre coupling of Pulp fiction and The Waltons. Clever, twisted, you have to admire the sheer verve and audacity."
20. The Yorkshire Post is great.
21. FHM says the book is "superb" and that "Crump writes with such a lack of fear that it's both hilariously refreshing a destined to gloriously offend any fans who prefer to forget hid amphetamine-stuffed cheeseburger death."
22. Okay, FHM is shit too, but even they can be right sometimes.
23. Here's an audio sample of someone reading from the book. Yep, it's that good.
24. Here's another.
25. This band liked the book so much they named themselves after it and based their whole career upon it.
26. Jon McGregor - Jon McGregor! - one of the finest and famousest writers writing today, describes it as one of the "best" books: "which should have made Simon Crump famous in his own right when this book was first published in 2000, and which I'm delighted to know are being thrust into the hands of unsuspecting readers all over again."
27. Those words from Jon McGregor come from the introduction he wrote for this new ebook edition. And that introduction is brilliant.
28. The all new introduction also contains a very disturbing story about Jimmy Savile. But you'll have to read it to find out…
29. The all new ebook edition also contains a mighty fine postscript written by Simon Crump himself, containing a very funny story about someone called Jurgen.
30. You'll have to buy the book to read that story too.
31. Did I mention that the ebook only costs £4? Okay, I did. But did I also mention that the original hardback edition will cost you at least £40 on ebay?
32. Here's another review of My Elvis Blackout from The Guardian.
33. Yes, yes, I wrote that review. But the point is that I love the book and have done for years. It's one of the best things I've ever read. And I review books for a living. And so I have read quite a few.
34. In fact, I love My Elvis Blackout so much that I'm sitting here on Boxing Day morning, typing this list.
35. And even though it's Boxing Day and most people are still asleep and nursing hangovers, and I really should be feeling bitter about sitting here in front of the screen and working, I'm not. Because I love this book and writing about it is always fun.
36. But not as much fun as reading it, which you could do, if only you bought it.
37. You can download it as a PDF too, and on your phone, so don't give me any of this "I don't own an ereader" shit.
38. Look at Simon Crump's face!
39. Look at Elvis's face!
40. Look at Chris De Burgh's face!
41. Simon and Elvis kill Chris De Burgh.
42. Bookmuch say that Simon Crump is the dog's danglers.
43. Here's a quote from My Elvis Blackout: "I take a proper look at Elvis's face, catch a glint of metal through the blood, figure out what he's done. The crazy fuck's stapled his eyelids together to keep from doing the washing up."
44. Here's another: "When he was a foetus, Elvis used to wait till his mom was asleep, carefully remove his umbilical cord, sneak out of her insides and head off into town."
45. And another: "He was the unborn King of Rock 'n' Roll and if he wanted to go out naked except for a ridiculous tartan coat, he bastard well would."
46. And, okay, one more: "Keep your fucking canoe," said Elvis, "I want to eat men."
47. Those quotes don't even begin to do justice to the twisted genius of this book.
48. I do not use the word "genius" lightly.
49. You've read almost all the way to the end of this very long list, so either there's something about the book that interests you,or you're really, really bored. Either way, buying the book and reading it will sort you out. Go on! Go on, go on! Go on, Go on, go on!
50. I think that's enough reasons. Buy it and love it!
51. 8 JANUARY UPDATE! There's a new David Bowie record on the way and you feel happy.

Thank you.